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Rubbish

by The Bad Cowboys

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1.
Being Sarcastic 04:08
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I can't stop this strange affliction, like a class-A drug addiction, it’s taken over me There's a tone often detected, something subtly inflected, a hint of irony Much like that song by Alanis Morrisette, played it so much, I'd worn out the cassette I was being sarcastic, being sarcastic I was being sarcastic, being sarcastic It’s not that impressive Passively aggressive Why do I behave this way? Contemptuousness is the Part of my charisma Deep within my DNA I think it's fantastic, being sarcastic Even if I try my utmost, and I say I love your nut roast, that seems insincere We stayed in and watched a Chick Flick, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, your look is austere When I say I like your hair, I really like your hair but even I can hear, it sounds like I don’t care I wasn't being sarcastic, being sarcastic I wasn't being sarcastic, being sarcastic It’s not that impressive Passively aggressive Why do I behave this way? Contemptuousness is the Part of my charisma Deep within my DNA I think it's fantastic, being sarcastic You announce you've reached your wits' end, won't tolerate or contend, can't take anymore That you plan to pack a suitcase, take the dog and find a new place, straight out the front door I fall to my knees, I’m begging you to stay and then the look in your eyes gives it all away You were being sarcastic, being sarcastic You were being sarcastic, being sarcastic I think it's impressive Passively aggressive Glad that you behave this way Contemptuousness is the Part of your charisma Deep within your DNA I’ve learnt my lesson this time (No, he’s being sarcastic) I really, really mean what I'm say (No, he’s being sarcastic) I think it's fantastic, being sarcastic
2.
Losers' Club 04:25
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Do you feel you’ve lost your way, thinking that your life, hasn’t worked out as you planned Read the safety card all day, adopt the brace position, preparing to crash land Once a head chock full of dreams, setting forth so buoyantly, heart full of desire You've unravelled at the seams, the box containing all your aspirations is on fire No hope at all? Give us a call Welcome to the losers club', come right in and make yourself at home There’s more of us inside If you’re feeling disenchanted, insecure, neglected and alone It’s where we all reside Each afternoon at 3pm we congregate inside and then We sit and listen to our favourite songs We all sing along So many songs about the wistful and lonely I thought that they only there for someone else to hear So many songs and now they resonate so deeply All my preconceptions disappear There’s a place that you can go, with no fear of judgement when you put your playlist on Guilty pleasures don’t apply, no one bats an eyelid when you play Celine Dion You can park right next to me, when your number’s ready, I’ll give you a call Come and join our merry throng, and enter yourself for the biggest loser of them all No hope at all? Give us a call Welcome to the losers club', come right in and make yourself at home There’s more of us inside If you’re feeling disenchanted, insecure, neglected and alone It’s where we all reside Each afternoon at 3pm we congregate inside and then We sit and listen to our favourite songs We all sing along The list it goes on and on and on
3.
Shed Up! 03:54
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There I was just idling my time without a care Then a distant memory I leapt out from my chair All those unfinished jobs to do I'll get myself outside There's nowhere to hide Shed Up! Shed Up! Embrace your inner introvert Shed Up! Shed Up! A sanctuary amongst the dirt Shed Up! Shed Up! Discard the stresses of the day Shed Up! Shed Up! Tranquillity’s a path away Quick as a flash picked up my phone but something wasn’t right Needed divine inspiration forthwith then I saw the light Shining with supernatural force I knew just what to do Off to B&Q Shed Up! Shed Up! Embrace your inner introvert Shed Up! Shed Up! A sanctuary amongst the dirt Shed Up! Shed Up! Discard the stresses of the day Shed Up! Shed Up! Tranquillity’s a path away Recruit some family members to erect it Buy some shed preserver to protect it Then fill it full of all you know A varnish tin from long ago Plastic buckets, rubber shoes Some wood I someday plan to use A roll of stuff that looks like suede High performance garden spade An eighth of white gloss in a tin Wellies with think cobwebs in Ancient Roman kitchen tiles Garden chairs stacked in a pile It’s obvious now, so I said I need to buy a second shed (I need to buy a second shed) When I’m at odds with the world I’m no rodent in a race Alone with my thoughts (…) I’m staring into space Lawn mower there by my side, ensconced I'll count to ten Found my zen Shed Up! Shed Up! Embrace your inner introvert Shed Up! Shed Up! A sanctuary amongst the dirt Shed Up! Shed Up! Discard the stresses of the day Shed Up! Shed Up! Tranquillity’s a path away
4.
Bin Day 05:08
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It’s 6:45 on a Thursday morning, I’m always up with the lark I don’t try, this is my calling. The rubbish patriarch Obsessive? No. That’s just my sense of purpose Like Wombles utilising all that’s surplus to requirement It’s going to be a lovely day, it’s bin day It’s going to be a lovely day, it’s bin day Oh such splendour to behold all lined up neatly down the road Every colour can be seen, bins of Black and brown and blue and green The guy next door put out his blue bin, but left on my drive I’m now the owner of two blue bins, I’ve never felt so alive Predicting everything my neighbour’s thinking Clearly they can see how much I’m drinking every night and day It’s going to be a lovely day, it’s bin day It’s going to be a lovely day, it’s bin day I can’t put them out at night, for fear of waking to the sight The storms might rage and weather beat I’d find my bins all strewn across the street With non-conformity at play, don’t know why it occurs Wrong stuff. Wrong way. Wrong bin. Wrong day. They’re all bin amateurs Respecting all the rules and regulations In awe of such a noble occupation taking all our stuff It’s going to be a lovely day, it’s bin day It’s going to be a lovely day, it’s bin day I might circumnavigate the rules and include garden waste Or cardboard oversized instead, so don’t you tell me that bin-punk is dead Anxiety had reached a peak, as off on holiday next week I’d miss the day that I adore, my bins redundant on the floor We’ll pack their contents in the car, and take it to Bin Shangri-la Where all the rubbish can be found, unto the sacred refuse hallowed ground The night before we set off on our holiday A call came from Diana who’s across the way A offer made with little fuss, (said) she put our bins out for us Reassured I’m not so odd, there’s someone else who worships my bin-God It’s going to be a lovely day, it’s bin day Every day’s like Christmas Day, on bin day If there’s a bank holiday it just means a slight delay Enthusiasm will remain ‘Cause it won’t be long ‘til bin day’s back again
5.
I'm Fine 05:02
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I bumped into a Facebook friend, hadn’t seen them since the end Of School in eighty three, we weren’t that close you see Outside the eight till late, I was planning my escape I’d gave it my best try, but then he caught my eye He said "You alright?", I said "Yeah, I'm alright” I said "You alright?", he said "Yeah, I'm alright" Just when I thought he’d walk away He’d turned and looked at me to say "Please don't take this the wrong way" "Are you sure that you’re OK?" I'm fine, no really I’m fine Even though I'm well aware I've mentioned it, one too many times I'm fine, don't make any fuss on my account I need to reinforce the point Imploring that you trust the fact I'm fine I popped up to see my Mum, something that I hadn’t done For a little while, was greeted with a smile I was treated like a King, she’d made a cake and everything I sat on the settee, might even stay for tea I said "You alright?", she said "Yeah, I'm alright” She said "You alright?", I said "Yeah, I'm alright" Before the coffee had been poured Stopped in her tracks, beside the door Expression says she's not so sure Sensing something more I'm fine, no really I’m fine I know that my delivery's emphatic, it's not a warning sign I'm fine, I can't overstate Don't take this as some camouflaged attempt from me To over compensate or the idea that I’m not, because I'm fine Standing in the bathroom, staring at the three part folding mirror Wipe the condensation off, that’s not really made it any clearer No doubt my assured disposition will show Sure of my own mind, although I'm talking to myself I know I'm fine, no really I’m fine Even though I'm well aware I've mentioned it, far too many times I'm fine, don't make any fuss on my account I need to reinforce the point Imploring that you trust the fact I'm fine, no really I’m fine I know that my delivery's emphatic, it's not a warning sign I'm fine, I can't overstate Don't take this as some camouflaged attempt from me To over compensate or the idea that I’m not, because I'm fine
6.
Spare Us The Horses 04:08
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I want a crust that’s stuffed, and cleaner floors A flat pack, barbecue 4x4 Brand new job on my own terms Killing 99 percent of all know germs Want a vegan friendly Smart TV Had an accident no win no fee Design and launch my own website Erase the memories I don’t like Downstream all the films I missed Track my fitness on my wrist Smoother blend of fresh coffee Bet online, be dandruff free Maximise my credit score Get an automated garage door I want a winning smile, I want whiter teeth I really want irritation relief Really want irritation relief Dear God, please spare us the horses Dear God, please spare us the horses Leave them alone Laptop, self-tan, mayonnaise Chicken burger with a closer shave Plan my funeral in advance Sell my car, and move to France Faster broadband, more box sets Help me smell like Johnny Depp Anti-age revitalise Sign up for the big cash prize Boost my strength with vitamins Test my blood for everything A double-glazed conservatory I need to find a whole new me Donkey sponsored, life insured Delivered next day to my door (Win a) fully furnished house and grounds That’s worth more than 3 million pounds Worth more than 3 million pounds! Dear God, please spare us the horses Dear God, please spare us the horses Leave them alone
7.
With A Heave And A Ho 04:05
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She watched from the shore He reluctantly checked, on the tide Then cast off, harbour side Wasn't sure, what's in store His hopes woe betide In no time at all Found himself set adrift, on high Seas With no clear, expertise All that ebb, and the flow Gave a sense of unease With a Heave, and a Ho And it’s off to the unknown The sea will not rest In search of the dead man’s chest In a moment of calm He thought that perhaps, a Mermaid Might appear, and persuade Him to go, swim below To the home that she made But something was wrong He saw shivers of Sharks, passing by As gulls circled the sky At the helm, overwhelmed There's no way to deny With a Heave, and a Ho And it’s off to the unknown The sea will not rest In search of the dead man’s chest The boat is on fire He stared into the horizon The boat is on fire Conscious the smoke was rising Up, in the sky, he felt sure he's seen something like this before maybe Deep, in a dream, or a naively constructed song metaphor but What, could it mean? What, could it mean? Somewhat concerned As he felt the fierce heat, on his shoulder His feet, getting colder The water, seeped in The mast it did smoulder Alone on the deck With the certainty of King Canute His achievements acute Now to sink, in the drink With a final salute With a Heave, and a Ho And it’s off to the unknown The sea will not rest A pain in his chest With a Heave, and a Ho And it’s off to the unknown The sea will not rest In search of the dead man’s chest
8.
Running On Empty 03:44
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You gave, me a lift I got in, had to shift The seat back, to make myself more comfortable But soon, in the car Circumstance, quite bizarre Detected, from the corner of my eye I spy on the dash, t's started to flash Indicator is right against the line We can both see, it's next to the 'E' Feels like we haven't got much time You’re running on empty, should have stopped twenty Minutes ago but you seem total oblivious I’m not over cautious, you're making me nauseous I just don't understand how you can live your life like this With a glance, you remark I look pale, kind of stark Then you note, my eyes fixed on the petrol gauge “Worry not, it's OK” Are the words, that you say Then you add, that “We could go for miles and miles…” I don’t think I’d call myself irrational or strange So let me express my point of view Behaviour like yours falls into clinically deranged Easy to review, It’s not me it’s you I'm not reassured, in fact you've ignored Gone past the red behind the line The tank's running dry, the engine could die, Feels like we haven't got much time You’re running on empty, should have stopped twenty Minutes ago but you seem total oblivious I’m not over cautious, you're making me nauseous I just don't understand how you can live your life like this You’ve got no awareness, seems you couldn’t care less There's no sense of urgency I'm feeling increased perspiration My collar has tightened, anxiety heightened My nerves are in tatters and you just drove by a petrol station
9.
Share If You Agree 04:33
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You can keep your pop up nightclub, it does not appeal You can keep your new boutique fest, it’s just a party in a field You can keep your chia-macchiato, pour me a flat red Everybody’s making memories, I’m trying to forget You can keep your prestige motors, and pointless personal plates You can keep your status update, it’s not that complica-ted You can keep your demonstrating, demonstrations of your wealth I don’t want the gory details, keep it to yourself Express a point of view The facts have been eschewed So you know what to do Share, share, share if you agree Share, share, share if you agree For him, for her, for them, especially for me! Share, share, share if you agree Na, na, na na na na na na na etc.. You can keep your warped nostalgia, I don’t want that country back You can keep your wounded outrage, it is just as bad You can keep your “if you know, you know”, yeah, “you know who you are” You can keep your nominations, just take my credit card Keep your badge of honour, we’re not united in the fight You’re indicating to the left, but veering to the right Express a point of view The facts have been eschewed So you know what to do Share, share, share if you agree Share, share, share if you agree For him, for her, for them, especially for me! Share, share, share if you agree Na, na, na na na na na na na etc..
10.
Cool Yer Jets 05:33
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Park my car, I'm half asleep, then step into the terminal - I'm calm, before we embark In short stay, but never made, a note of the location of my car, I'll find out when it's dark As I'm waved out from another queue, checked for metal gone awry Lights are flashing and alarms announce my failure to comply Catch the eye of a kindred spirit, as in comes the request Awkwardly I hold her gaze as I gradually undress Cool yer jets, place your bets Priority to board the plane Can move into the left-hand lane Get on board, luggage stored There's every chance you won't see that again Did you pack the bag yourself? A former member of the KGB needs to know It hasn't left your side all day, yet somehow you're now terrorised with doubt, and it shows An executive businessman is on a super important call White Air Pods nestled deep in his head performing for us all On lookers try to look away, wishing they could forget All the Effing and a-Jeffing tends to indicate a mild case of Tourette’s Cool yer jets, place your bets Priority to board the plane Can move into the left-hand lane Get on board, luggage stored There's every chance you won't see that again The speedy boarders get the nod, they’ve paid to spend ten minutes on the plane, before us We're packed like lemmings in a box, across the tarmac for a hundred yards, in the bus The guy behind me with BO just kneed me in the back Earlier he assaulted me with his mountaineer's rucksack Do you really need a neck pillow for a 45-minute flight? I’m dreaming of baggage reclaim so I can have a fight Cool yer jets, place your bets Priority to board the plane Can move into the left-hand lane Get on board, luggage stored There's every chance you won't see that again

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released July 26, 2023

Produced by The Bad Cowboys

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The Bad Cowboys Glastonbury, UK

Veterans of the Glastonbury music scene, Steve Bilsborough & John Carroll have developed a unique sound with diverse influences including New Wave, Country, and Pop! Their close harmonies and catchy tunes are full of poignant, satirical and sometimes humorous lyrics with obscure subject matter such as: Bin Day, the local bus route, and Shed ownership,. ... more

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